I know, without a doubt, that my number one job is taking care of my family. When my child is sick, I take care of her. That part is easy to understand.
But when you’re in the middle of teaching and find out your child has been in the health room? There are suddenly a whole lot of decisions to make.
You’re trying to figure out what’s wrong while keeping your classroom calm. Making calls. Sending texts. Mentally reviewing the fever policy and wondering what tomorrow’s childcare will look like—all while your students still need you right now.
Then you wait for answers.
Ten minutes later, your child is sitting in your classroom with your students, and your brain is still trying to figure out staffing and ratios so you can make everything work.
Meanwhile, the mom part of you just wants to get her home.
At the end of the day, I am Mom. That title carries a lot, and I take it seriously.
But here’s where the catch comes in: I also carry the title Teacher.
And while that title comes after Mom, it still matters to me. I care about my students, my assistant, and the people who depend on me every day. So even while I’m making the decision I know I need to make, the questions keep coming.
Will my class be okay without me? Will my assistant survive the rest of the day? Who will cover my bus route? Have I remembered to tell everyone what they need to know?
Knowing where you belong doesn’t magically turn off your concern for everyone else.
That’s the hard part.
I can know I’m making the right choice and still feel guilty about leaving. I can want to be home caring for my child and still worry about how the afternoon is going at school.
The funny thing is, if another mom told me she needed to leave work to pick up her sick child, I wouldn’t question it for a second. I’d tell her, “Go. Take care of your baby. We’ll figure it out.”
So why is it so hard to give myself that same understanding?
Maybe because I know what goes into keeping a classroom running. I know that someone else will have to pick up the pieces of the day I leave behind, and I’m grateful for the people who do. Their help means my child gets the version of me she needs most: her mom.
And maybe that’s something my kids need to see, too. That showing up for family sometimes means asking for help, changing plans, and letting a few things wait. We talk so much about teaching children to care for others. Sometimes, this is what that looks like in real life.
I don’t have a perfect answer for making that guilt disappear. Today, I’m just reminding myself that caring about my classroom doesn’t mean I have to make every piece of the day work before I’m allowed to leave.
My child needs me, too.
So yes, the guilt is there. But if carrying a little of it means my kids know I will show up when they need me, I can live with that.
I have many titles and plenty of responsibilities. But nothing is more important to me than my children.
And today, being Mom is where I need to be.
